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  • Writer's pictureNicole C Lofton

Don't Deny Your Pain, Embrace It!

Do you find yourself denying your pain more than you embrace it? The truth is, many times we wear our feelings/emotions on our face. Yes, I switched it up, just like people say that we usually we are hearts on our selves, I say we are our feelings/emotions on our face. There are just some feelings that we simply cannot hide no matter how much we try.

Have you ever been having a not so good day or even just simply been in deep thought about something and then someone asks you what's wrong? I'm sure you probably have because most people have and then the common response is "nothing". So after you say nothing, then the person follow up with "are you sure?" and you say yes. Deep down though, both you and that person more than likely know that you are not okay.

Now are you wrong for saying that nothing is wrong with or bothering you? Of course not, you have the choice to talk to whoever you want, but there is a fine line between denying and embracing your pain. There are a couple of reasons why we respond by saying that nothing is wrong, I will list a couple of them here and you tell me if you agree or not:

1. We do not know the person that is inquiring about our well-being.

2. We simply do not want to hear what someone else has to say about our situation(at that current time).

3. We have trust issues when it comes to other people

4. We do not want to feel condemned or judged by someone else

5. We may not even really know what we are feeling or why(at least we think we don't).

Those are just a couple of reasons that I find in situations such as the one described above.

Today, I want to encourage you to not to deny your pain. You see pain is something that we have to experience for various reasons. If you deny your pain, you will push yourself back and you will miss a lesson that you need to learn. You cannot grow by denying your pain. Now, I am not saying that you should just tell all of your business to the first person you see or the first person to ask you what's wrong, but sometimes it is good to talk to someone who is unbiased.

If you have trust issues when it comes to others, then pray about it. God will give you discernment about who you can open up to, but also try to be open minded and understand God can use anyone and sometimes he uses people that you would not expect to bless you.

About 6 years ago, God taught me how to embrace my pain and that is why as a life coach and as a domestic violence survivor, I have now dedicated a good portion of my life to helping people not only understand their pain, but to connect their pain with their life purpose. Embracing your pain makes you stronger and wiser and allows you to bless someone else.

Today, look back on all the painful experiences that you have went through and think about where your life is now. You almost died, but you are still here right? You thought you would never find love again, but you have right? You were in an abusive relationship and now you are a survivor right? You lost your job, but you were blessed with a new one or blessed to start your own business right? You thought you would never have kids, but you did right? You lost a loved one and wanted to take your life, but God restored you right? Whatever is painful in your life has a purpose. I challenge you today to embrace your trials in life and if you need some guidance, I am here to help.

God Bless,

Nicole C. Lofton

YSM (Your Spiritual Mentor)


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